Are you the grandparent of an aborted grandchild?

Perhaps you never thought of it quite that way.  You may have thought of yourself first as the parent of a child who aborted.  As a parent, you may have insisted on abortion, been instrumental in some way, objected to the abortion, or you may have been completely unaware until later.  Still, you may blame yourself for the aftermath your child is suffering.

Parents who encourage abortion may be conflicted because they do not approve of abortion but they do want to protect their child from untimely parenthood.  You may have wanted to protect your child’s educational future, or her reputation, or his sports scholarship.  You wanted the problem to go away.  But it is your child who seems to have disappeared.  Something has changed.

Maybe you didn’t know at all.  Maybe you saw only that things went from bad to worse with your child.  School, moods, social life, health. . . many things can change after abortion.  You may have felt helpless and even guilty, asking, “What did we do wrong?”

Some parents realize after the fact that they were partly responsible, because of intemperate remarks they may have made:  “Don’t ever come home pregnant!” or  “If you ever get pregnant, it’s your problem.  We are not going to raise a baby.”

After the abortion, the parents of the aborting couple may watch them split up, suffer emotional turmoil, get angry, and refuse to talk about any of it.  They want to help but are kept at a distance, even if they helped with the abortion – especially if they helped.  They become the focus of much anger.

So the parents direct their efforts and their energy toward their post-abortive child.  Often there is so much turmoil in the child’s life that you, the parents, never have a chance to focus on your own losses.

You have lost the child you knew.
You have lost a relationship with your child.
You may have lost the peaceful relationship you had with your spouse.
You may have lost self-esteem or peace of conscience.
You may have lost a sense of belonging in their Church.
But there is one more thing you have lost.
Your have lost your own grandchild.  Perhaps your first grandchild.

Deep down, this loss calls to you.  There is an emptiness where there was going to be, was supposed to be, was indeed already . . . a child.  Your child’s child.  A child who bore your genes.  A child you will never see in this life.

But this child, though deceased, is truly your grandchild.
Your are a grandmother or grandfather.
Thank God for the child.
Accept the child that was once rejected.
Express your sorrow and regret to God and to the child.
Jesus says, “He who accepts a little child, accepts Me.”
The way to find acceptance from the Lord is to accept your grandchild, now living in the Lord.

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